Here comes April...

Waaaaddddaaaaaawwwww !!!

I need a long holiday...I need a break without any work to do...But it's still a long road to walk, the break it's on July. THIS APRIL THERE'S NO GODDAMN HOLIDAY! OMG !!!

I'm so tired being busy like crazy. It's really hard to breathe these days. Eventhough there's no work to do, my mind just keep on working like crazy, thinking about future plans for my work.

It's not just that, i'm frustrated about my scores in this second semester. It got reallly bad for my own standard.Why is it really hard to get a good scores ? Goddamnit ! Maybe i'm trying to hard to get a good scores, maybe if i'm just relax a lil bit, everything's gonna go smoothly like always. Maybe...But why am i acting like crazy people who got obsessed with good scores ? I can't help it to expect a high scores, but everytime my expectation failed me. The bad scores keep coming, and i have to re-do my work from the beginning. Come on, it's only second semester ?! What about the higher semester ?!

FFFRRREEEAAAKKKK !!!!

I am so tired...I need a holiday...immediately. I don't need another holidie, where we got a holiday but we still got that work from hell to do.
Everyone keep talking about how we have more spare time this semester. But why do i still feel so tired, so busy, and so exhausted from all the works that i've done. WHY ?! Am i really being obsessed ? It's dangerous for me to failed in the things that i like, bcuz i can't face it just yet. I'm still not trained to take a failure in a good way. Failure still always got me down and make me feel low and even underestimate myself.

You know, what really makes me concern is that my scores is not that bad, but my reaction is kinda extreme. Well, i think i have a lot to do with my mind. Everything just seems so messed up.

Freak, man...